growing up

drunken-ness

Tue, 30 May 2006 16:59:43 GMT

wow alright... well i have realized i have picked up some REALLY BAD habits. drinking and driving. and i guess i have started to drunk call people again. i stopped there for awhile, but i guess i do it again. so now it is almost 11 in the morning and i am still drunk. eh... sometimes i really think i have my life together and am doing good, then i think about it and i do like 95% of it. but i really need to quit driving. thats my #1 goal right now. and the person i called last night just told me that i called him for a ride home... so at least that was responsable. and why he didn't come get me i don't know. jerk. eh... i feel like puking. well whatever. I NEED A JOB! sorry for the randomness of this entry, as i said b4... i am drunk... @ 11 in the morning... whoa. and looking through my call log and texts.. i don't remember ANY OF THEM last night. holy shit... alright well enuff trying to remember shit... i will be going now.....

true???

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 19:28:10 GMT

You're a Crazy Drunk!
As soon as your blood alcohol level raises you're
all over the place! You're the drunk running
through the street naked or trying to engage
everyone in strip Jenga. You like making people
laugh and feeling free of all your
responsibilities.

What Kind of Drunk Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

matt

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 21:53:04 GMT

oh my lord, i do not even know where to start. i know that matt is just trying to hurt me, and it is working. so since we've broken up, he goes out all the time and meets all these girls. at first i thought he was lying untill one time when we were hanging out like 3 girls called him to go out the next night. needless to say i was pissed, but more than that i was hurt. it hurts me to see him like this. i am not used to this and everytime he tells me that he is going out w/ so an so or he met another girl at the bar, i get so upset. i drunk called him last saturday and he was with "RYAN", the new girl. apparently they have so much in common and he is so attracted to her and she is so beautiful. now, i do not know if this is the truth, or if he is just saying this to upset me, but whichever one it is, i am so upset and hurt right now. i expected him to sit by the phone and wait for me to come back to him when we broke up, but afterall he is out and getting drunk w/ all these girls and having fun without me. and the part that upsets me the most is that whenever we went to a party, the 2 of us, he never drank and never had a good time, and i do not understand why he would never party with me and get drunk with me, but he will with all these fucking whores all night. i am so confused right now. he asked me to move to virginia with him in 4 months, and i have no idea what the hell that means. we are not even together and as far as i see it, he is not even intereseted in getting back w/ me. or at least he doesn't hint at it. i jsut want to be happy with him again, and i do not understand what he is doing right now. he can say the same thing about me, and i as well have no idea what i am doign w/ my life or my matt. on one hand i like lalo( the new guy) soi much and i LOVE speaking spanish, but on the other hand, i miss the comfort and the love the i have for matt. they are so 2 completely different guys, it is hard for me to decide what to do. i miss matt so much sometimes and i call him like 10 times a ngiht when i get drunk. what does that mean? i know i still love him adn i like to think that we will end up together, but with all that has been going on, how am i supposed to feel? what if he meets some girl and realzies that i am not the woman that he wants to be with? i am so afraid to lose him, but i am so afraid to settle down. basically i want to be with him and still be able to see lalo. god, what is wrong with me? i used to think that everybody wanted me and that whoever was with me would be the luckiest fucker in the world, adn while i am a very cool person, i am coming to realize that maybe there are others out ther that woudl be better for him than me. this is hard to grasp becasue we click so well and we get along and everything, but what if there is someone better for him and he finds her? that would devistate me. i know there will never be anyone who treats me better than matt, this is not the question. or the problem. the problem is that i am too young to feel so serious in a reltationship and settle down. i am not ready for that yet. when i am ready, matt is my only choice to be with. i want to spend the rest of my life with him, no doubt, i jsut feel like i need to live first. and this might be my rationale for what i did, but i love matt so much and i have no fucking idea what to do right now. i cry when i think what my life owuld be without matt.i am so confused and a big part of me wants to move to virginia and start a new life with him. forget lalo, forget all of our problems here and just live and have fun in virginia. but then a part of me does not want to uproot my entire life for something that is really unsure right now. GOD CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?

what else is new?

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 02:58:51 GMT

so for those of you who don't know.....i broke up w/ matt. long story short, i got drunk at my christmas party for work, made out w/ a few guys and had sex with this other guy. so needless to say matt and i broke up. i dunno, i just feel like i need to live right now, i am too young to be all serious with someone. so thats been pretty weird dating other guys. i am sorta seeing the guy that i slept w/, but i don't know what exactly is going on w. us. whatever, i am up for whatever happens..i just want to have fun right now in my life. so i am doing really well. i thought i would be all depressed, but i am doing well. besides the fact that my grandma had a stroke on thurs, that sucked. but i guess thats life. i just am so sick of things happening like that. but thats it i guess. i don't want to go into too much detail, or i would be writing for like 2 days. just wanted to drop a line and tell all my girls that i am not dead and what is going on. so talk to all later.
720-296-3322
call if you want.

since everyone else did it...

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 08:37:00 GMT

To be, or not to be?

What is Your Shakespearian Tragic Flaw?
brought to you by Quizilla

tipp- you'll be happy about this one! extreme empotion- i don't think thats it.

You have a dominant kiss- you take charge and make
sure your partner can feel it! Done artfully,
it can be very satisfactory if he/she is into
you playing the dominant role MEORW!

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

0oh yeah!

i copied britt....

Fri, 20 Feb 2004 02:05:16 GMT

http://dolefulhbrw.friendtest.com.

umm...

Fri, 06 Feb 2004 04:42:31 GMT

alrighty then... well i dont realy know what to say. danaya- i am sorry that you blame me for feeling like a spoiled brat...but maybe there is truth to that? i dunno, you do work and pay for your shit, but maybe there's other parts to being spoiled. whatever
anyways, britt m- congrats on 2 years! thats awesome and i hope that your 10 days w/ him is great.
kim and i are getting along so good now. we talk alot and things are just so nice between us. i am really enjoying it. what else is new? my sister is being a bitch...wait..did i say that was new? hehe...
alright, well i guess that is all i have to say, i have to go do homework. oh, and i got a job...student caller. 8/hr...not too bad.
mel pie--- congrats on your new job too.
love, ralph.

one more thing

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 03:44:50 GMT

if any body wants to email me---
brittany.delacruz@colorado.edu
303-786-2672
chris----i would specifically like you to email me.

hmmm....

Tue, 23 Sep 2003 21:05:56 GMT

ok- well i never write, but i thouhgt i would- just to let everyone know whats up in the life of the big britt. class is really easy, matt and i are better than ever, my family is cool, my dad is doing really good- he comes home the 29th of oct., i am doing better inn dealing with the whole thing, and basically, i am doinng so good. i work out everyday for 20-40 mins, i love my roomm and my life right now. it is just so cool to do whatever the fuck i want and not worry about reprecussions or getting in trouble w/ the fam. i have made some awesome friends(nothing in comparison to dan and schmip), but i just love it up here, and am having a greaat time. i am involved inn so many clubs and i am so exciteeed about my future. but- that is all the time i have- SO MUCH TAREA!!!!!!!!!
i will try to write later,, but no promises. hopw everything is going good in everybody's life- especially yours- dan and chrisite.. i love you guys, and miss you! call me or write me!
britt

oh my god! you've GOT to be kidding me!

Fri, 05 Sep 2003 02:38:15 GMT

could my mom be a bigger bitch? for all of you that know my mom- the answer is prolly no. she ruins everythgin for me. so my bday party is tomorrow and she calls me telling me how evertthing is such a hassle and how she doesnt have time to plan my party. and i am like- great- make me feel good, mom! what a bitch!so i tell her that if i am so much of a burden then forget about the party, so she hangs up on me and i am bawling becuz now the party is gonna be all awkward, and she call me back telling me how she doesnt deserve to be talked to like that. what the fuck??? then i am crying even harder and my makeup is running and i fucking look like marilyn manson, and poor matt doesnt know what to do- and little kim gives me a littel hug, (what a sweetheart), so now i am all doleful, and am just like give me a fucking break. i am sorry that my birthday is always such a burden and noone can be bothered with me. that is why i always hang w/ matt is becuz he doesnt make me feel like a piece of shit and like he is obligasted to be with me and take me places. so now i am sitting in my goodwill desk chair that tilts to the left and my leg is killing me and all i wanted to do tonight is read the fuckign 10 chapters i have to read for class- but who can fuckign concentrate in an environment like this? sometimes i seriously think that my family would be so much better off without me. thats why i dont even call alot of my family becuz i feel like they dont want to be burdend (sp?) by me. well oh fucking well. yet another birthday that is going to be fucked up and spoiled. well such is the plight of me i guess...well whatever, at least i have myself and matt on my side. i am so sick of my mom putting this guilt trip on me for doing good up here and not fucking being a pussy and calling home every 2 hours... well i am fucking sorry but i am not that type of person nor do i want to be, and moreover, my mom could go fuck herself if she thinks that i give a fuck!!!!!! yeah mom, your life sucks, but you think mine is a piece of fucking apple pie? well what the fuck ever, she is a bitch and always will be. so.......... anyways....... like i said i have a bunch of shit to do- so i dont have the time to be pissed. so i will wrtite later- hopefully when i am 18!

hehehehhaw

Fri, 17 Jan 2003 07:26:55 GMT

ok yeah so anyways..lj is being totally stupid and not allowing me to log in so i just wanted to drop a line and see if it will let me log in, so anyways..i will write more later

?

Mon, 28 Oct 2002 05:05:59 GMT

i just wanted to see what my faces were. so nothing new.. besides the fact that i am fucking freezzing. yeah i cuss alot. sorry to all those people whom i ofend... but you can $%#@ *&%!!!!!!!lol